What communication pet peeves drive you nuts? Is it when someone calls you by the wrong name? Or the person who never returns a call?
Whether in our business or personal lives, communication missteps make our blood pressure skyrocket. Even more maddening is how simple it is to fix them.
Below are examples and simple fixes to keep your communication from being slapped by the pet peeve label.
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Communication Pet Peeves on Speed
Today’s business communication is faster, louder, and can spread like wildfire. Which means communication missteps are faster, louder and can spread like wildfire.
While it’s easier than ever to reach out and touch someone, people still stumble over communication – business and personal.
Chances are the same pet peeves that drive you nuts in your business life spill over into your personal life. So, let’s review 5 communication pet peeves and their simple fixes.
Pet Peeve #1 – Making False Assumptions
You know you are in trouble when the word assume enters the discussion. The following are a few examples of the perils of that nasty word.
- Assuming all individuals know – Senior marketing copywriter and author, Peter Bowerman, used the cognitive bias term, “The Curse of Knowledge.” It refers to the assumption that because you know the topic, your audience does, too.
- Assuming everyone is on the same platform – Writing and editing consultant, Paula Hendrickson, shared the following example.
“My friends and family know I’m not on Facebook, yet most seem to assume ‘someone’ will pass important information along to me, only they all assume someone else will do it…
Paula Hendrickson
The same assumption happens in business communication. You restrict marketing to Facebook (or whatever other program), but your customers hang out on a different platform.
Fix to Pet Peeve #1 – Think Who, What & Where.
- Who needs to know?
- What do they need to know?
- Where do you send/post it?
I’m partial to lists and templates. That way I don’t need to reinvent my process each time. Your template could be as simple as the above three questions. Or you could assign task-related roles and responsibilities (as shown in this template).
But not everyone is the same. You may hate lists. Develop a process that works for you, then make it a habit.
Pet Peeve #2 Forcing Your Preferred Methods
Remember Paula’s friends and family who assumed she was on Facebook? Peter agreed that was a problem and added the following.
“I think a lot of marketers (and individuals) just assume…everyone’s on Facebook, and/or they’ve decided that if you’re not, tough luck, you’ll miss out.”
Peter Bowerman
Shrugging your shoulders and thinking “their loss” for those who choose not to be on the same platform is arrogant and misguided. Just because it’s your preferred platform does not mean your targeted audience feels the same way.
Don’t be surprised when your communication efforts fail. Additional examples include the communication method used.
- Some hate the intrusion of text.
- Others would rather call than email.
- Do you know what method your client prefers?
Fix to Pet Peeve #2 – Ask others for their preferences.
It’s that simple. Often, their response is one of surprise because they are seldom asked about their communication preferences.
You’ll look like a rockstar. Of course, you need to follow through on that preference.
Note: Thanks to another writer friend who reminded me some individuals may have physical limits from using certain communication methods. Or perhaps you are the one with the limitations. Work out a solution together and stick to it.
Pet Peeve #3 – Missing the Point
How many times have you endured a long, drawn-out response only to realize the person never answered your question? Just think politician.
Missing the point of the question or any communication can be a big pet peeve for your audience. Worse are communicators who think they did make the point, yet their audience has a different view.
Veterinary pathologist, Dr. Nicola Parry explained the pet peeve this way:
“One of mine [pet peeves] is the perception that communication has actually occurred. Whereas, the reality is that someone has merely talked around something without clearly getting to the point.”
Dr. Nicola Parry
Fix to Pet Peeve #3 – State and restate the point.
Whether you are answering a question or presenting an idea, confirming the point ensures everyone is on the same page.
When answering a question, try the following.
- State the point – So, you’d like to know how the XYZ product helps you with that task?
- Then ask – Did I answer your question?
Start your presentation by making the point clear.
- Today we’re going to cover how to do X, Y, Z.
- Circle back with something like, What questions do you have about X, Y, Z?
Pet Peeve #4 – Ignoring the Person
Except when talking to yourself, communication is an exchange of information between individuals – plural. Just ask Merriam-Webster.
So, why would anyone ignore the person or other participants in the exchange? None of us want to think we do that; but the way it’s done may be subtle.
- Not acknowledging their communication
- Emailing the individual when she asked you to call her
- Failing to recognize people by their preferred name (especially after they ask)
For that last pet peeve, Paula offered this simple tip.
Pay attention to how people sign their messages. That’s usually what they want you to call them.
Fix for Pet Peeve #4 – Picture each contact as a face-to-face meeting.
Sandy walks up to you at a conference.
- She tells you she’s interested in your company’s product.
- Next, she asks you a question about the product.
- You turn around and walk away.
What?! Would never happen, right?
You turn around and walk away every time you ignore a post, or an email, or fail to return a call.
Although focusing on the individual is common sense, our own needs blind us to what that person wants. Daily pressures distract us from listening like we should.
Think about Sandy – Don’t walk away.
Pet Peeve #5 – Being Lazy
This pet peeve may be the one that drives me the most nuts, particularly when it comes in the form of lazy marketing.
- How many pitches do you receive for products or services that have nothing to do with your business?
- Or receive the email with the wrong name in the greeting.
- Other lazy communication includes commenting when you obviously have not gone beyond the headline to read the article or post.
Fix to Being Lazy – Put on the Recipient’s Shoes
I promise not to suggest, stop being lazy. 🙂 Although that’s not a bad idea. Instead, put yourself in the shoes of the person receiving the communication. Ask this one simple question.
What does this mean to me?
Let’s try applying it to the above 3 scenarios.
- The product that has nothing to do with your business – What does this mean to me? Nothing unless you know something I don’t know. If you do, show the person how it relates.
- The email with the wrong name – What does this mean to me? It means I’m pretty ticked off you can’t even take the time to get my name right. I sure don’t want to do business with you.
- Commenting without reading the article – What does this mean to me? Why would I think you would take the time needed to service my business?
Communication Pet Peeves-Proofing
Becoming a client’s communication pet peeve nightmare is not a goal you want to set. Yet, it’s easy to fall into bad patterns that jeopardize your business relationships.
Try the really simple fixes and make them habits.
- Don’t make assumptions – Answer Who, What, and Where.
- Stop forcing your way of communicating – Ask others for their preferences.
- Don’t skip over the point – Confirm the point and ask reaffirming questions.
- Beware of ignoring individuals – Respond as if you are face-to-face.
- Prevent lazy communication – Ask how the communication relates to the individual.
What’s your communication pet peeves and how do you fix them? Leave your thoughts in Comments.
Note: This post originally published on November 7, 2011 under the title, 3 business mistakes that cost you big time. I’m not sure what it says when this July 13, 2023 version is now up to 5 pet peeves. 🙂
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Helping you keep your business communication simple, clear, and uniquely yours.
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Cathy- these are great pieces of advice.
A corollary- some of you whose niche is the technically inclined should recognize that- as long as you are platform independent (unless that, too is your niche)- there is nothing wrong with requiring technical expertise to enjoy (read, reach, find) your message!
Thank you, Roy and love the corollary. 🙂
Good message! Just because you like to deliver a message through a particular platform, doesn’t mean your customer wants to receive it that way!
I would like to add that if you are an avid reader, you would LOVE a Kindle! I fought it at first but it’s so fantastic, especially when I travel!
Hi Martha. Thanks for stopping by. My not having a Kindle has so many reasons – most requiring me to stretch out on the psychiatrist’s couch. 😀
It’s a middle child of 7 syndrome. I hate being like everyone else, plus, I looove books. I’m sure I’ll get there. I’m just not ready for it yet. One great thing about my typical procrastination, by the time I buy something, it’s come way down in price. 🙂
Nice seeing you here again, Martha.
Thank you for reminding me of the fact that there are many learning styles–mine is mostly my feelings, others it’s sight, hearing, smelling. You get the idea. It’s the reason some people would rather read a tweet than a two page single spaced blog. We need to take all this into account.
Hi Ann: Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You are right, a lot has to do with how we learn things. I’m a very visual person and like things broken down very simply. I love simple flow charts or bulleted lists.
Appreciate you stopping by, Ann.