How many marketing emails do you think you receive a day? 10? 30? More? When you consider both personal and business emails, the number can be staggering.

Recently, I received a business marketing email that was a head-scratcher. Its headline was laughable and confusing. I shared it on social media platforms and my friends found it odd, too (to say the least).

Let me share the introduction in the email, as well as what I discovered.

The “Say What?” Marketing Email

Below captures the introduction to this bizarre marketing email.

Excuse me? The email evoked many questions.

• What is a wedding cake incident? And who searches for them?
• Is this a new TikTok trend?
• What dedicated beliefs involve wedding cakes?

I can picture the latest headline – Thieves escape with three-tier wedding cake – leave trail of frosting as clue.

As I was posting this to social media, I had a thought. I should Google this.

• I put my name and wedding cake incident into the search bar.
• And voilà – I solved the mystery.
• Below is what I discovered.

What’s Wrong with This Marketing Email? Let me Count the Ways.

First, let me say, this is an example of the downside of a common name. It took me a while to figure out that my name may be the source of the problem. But having dealt with it a good part of my life, the light bulb finally went on.

So, back to the sender’s missteps in tossing this marketing email my way.

#1 Mistaken Identity

Meet Mike Jones. He is dying to connect with the CEO of a company that he thinks is his ideal customer. Let’s call the CEO Mary Smith.

Mike is at an industry conference when he spies Mary’s name on the list of attendees. And as fate would have it, an attractive older lady with a name tag identifying her as Mary Smith walks by.

Mike rushes over to introduce himself.

Ouch. Not exactly the introduction Mike had hoped for.

Lesson Learned

The one thing I will say for my email sender, he did some research. How else would he have known about the wedding cake incident? But like so many email marketers, he was guilty of lazy marketing.

He snagged the first piece of information he found and used that as his hook (or so he thought). He needed to go further.

• Both the baker and I have headshots online. Despite our shared name, we do not share faces.
• I am not sure how he dug up my email (although that’s simple to do today), but he would have discovered nothing about a bakery in my profile.

Businesses, like our names, are personal. For my entire life I have dealt with people misspelling my name with a “K” instead of a “C”.

Successful marketers know your name (how to spell it) and they know what your business does. They get the details right.

Successful marketers don’t cheat on their homework.

#2 Personal Beliefs

Although the email marketer did not explain the “wedding cake incident,” it is wrapped in personal beliefs. That coupled with his mistaken identity is a deadly combination.

I support the LGBTQ+ community. I have multiple family members and loved ones in their community. So, talk about a bad approach.

Take the scenario of Mary Smith and imagine her turning before she walks away from Mike. She looks him in the eye and says, “By the way, you should meet my wife sometime.”

Lesson Learned

But what happened if he successfully contacted the Cathy Miller featured in the wedding cake incident? Perhaps he shares her personal beliefs. But assuming she doesn’t know him at all, is that a good way to connect?

Once again, lazy marketing rears its ugly head. Too many marketers do not want to invest the time needed to build relationships. I imagine Baker Cathy received her fair share of unsolicited emails and calls. Chances are she would delete his email as quickly as I did.

Successful marketers invest the time to build relationships.

#3 Unbelievable Statements

Don’t you find it a tad suspicious that this email marketer was “looking for wedding cake incidents”? He just woke up one morning and thought, “Hey, I think I’ll see if I can find any leads from wedding cake incidents.” Because they happen so frequently.

I suspect his opening is totally bogus. Oh, he may have stumbled across the “incident,” but I highly doubt he went looking for that specific topic. I doubt even the Cathy Miller from the article would believe that one.

Lesson Learned

Email marketers claiming knowledge or a connection need to be believable. People are skeptical, especially when encountering someone they do not know. Successful marketers establish credibility first.

Successful marketers build trust with believable statements.

Ignorance is Not Bliss

Even lazy marketers hope their email marketing goes beyond the first email. But I did not get past this marketer’s opening. I deleted it so fast I don’t even know what he was selling.

At first, I thought it was humorous. When I found out what the reference applied to, the humor flattened like a deflating balloon.

I suppose I should thank him for inspiring this post. Well, maybe not. But it did prompt three tips for more successful marketing.

1. Don’t cheat on your homework. Research and verify.
2. Don’t take shortcuts on building business relationships.
3. Be sincere and truthful in your words and your motives.

What crazy marketing emails have you received? Please share the good ones in Comments. Maybe we all can get a laugh.

Credit: Bigstock Photo
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