Thank you.
Two words most of us were taught as a child to use on a regular basis.
We parroted the phrase to make our parents happy.
Then somewhere along the way, the reason behind the words clicked.
- Saying thank you felt good
- Expressing it became genuine
- Others smiled in return
We put the social in our words long before social media ruled the world.
- Have we lost our thank you?
- Has social media forgotten its manners?
Sometimes, it feels like it has.
Good Neighbors
In Chris Brogan’s weekly newsletter, he asks the question ~
Are you a good neighbor?
Chris reminisces about the days when the web was a little simpler.
- We used hyperlinks to give credit
- New bloggers were taught the etiquette
- We shared freely and gave credit to others
It’s nice to hear someone thinks like I do. After all, we all need validation, right?
A funny thing about neighbors. Is it just me? Or have the old days of knowing your neighbors given way to closed doors and not enough time?
If social media is our new neighborhood, how can we be good neighbors?
Say Thank You
A few years back, I made a conscious decision to remember to say thank you.
Try it.
Even if it’s the simple act of a waitress delivering your order. Or a prospect offering you the opportunity to bid on a project.
- Then watch their reaction
- It’s often pleasant surprise
People remember good manners.
Acknowledge the Act
We all have busy lives. It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day rush that we forget there is someone waiting to be heard.
- Acknowledge receipt when a person sends you information
- Let others know you recognize their efforts
- Tack on that thank you to the acknowledgement
Simple acts build lasting relationships.
Share Without Asking
Remember the first time someone shared without asking?
Perhaps it was a friend sharing a treasured toy. Or a sibling offering you the other half of his or her candy bar.
Felt good, didn’t it?
- Share a favorite post
- Review a product or service you loved
- Go beyond endorsement and write a recommendation
Sharing is the steady heartbeat of social media.
A Wonderful Day in the Neighborhood
Ellen DeGeneres closes her show every day with a beautiful sentiment ~
Be kind to one another.
It’s simply good manners.
- Say thank you
- Acknowledge others
- Share without asking
What do you do to be a good neighbor?
A final thank you to Chris Brogan for the inspiration. He is an exception to my Sunday Silence rule.
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Cathy, I’ve noticed the decline in neighborliness in general over the last few years, both where I live and online.
I do say thanks frequently, especially in interpersonal interactions. I could be better about saying it online; I don’t always acknowledge retweets, for instance.
I’ll close by thanking you, Cathy, for leaving great comments on my blog and tweeting so many of my posts.
Aw, thanks, John. It is my pleasure. I like acknowledging talent such as yours. I’m bad in doing reviews of products I like. I’m going to try to do better at that.
Thank you for all your support, John. 🙂
I find neighborliness often happens when I remember to say ‘hello.’ Particularly when I move into a new ‘hood.
I sometimes hesitate to say thanks on twitter etc. because it seems like I’m adding to the huge amount of msgs… maybe I’m wrong on that. I’ll start saying thanks there more.
You can always send a direct message of thanks, Anne. I admit, I forget to hit DM instead of Reply in my thanks for RTs. I share your idea of cutting down on the noise. 😉
Glad to welcome you any time in my ‘hood, Anne. 🙂
Cathy I don’t think it is just a decline of etiquette on the web. I think it is a decline in etiquette period. I know that it is very rare now days when I see people being neighborly. It seems that mow people just don’t seem to have the time add those few extra seconds of kindness and acknowledgement. This was a wonderful post and I hope that read it take the time to stop and say thanks, because it is just the thoughtful thing to do. Thank you Cathy.
Thanks, Gen, for the kind words. I often think I sound like some old person when I talk about the lack of manners or etiquette. I have been bowled over by kids in malls and seen them run into my nearly 90-year-old mother without even an Excuse me.
You are so right, Gen. All it takes is a few seconds to share kindness and acknowledgement. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
As always, food for thought, Cathy. I believe in saying thanks (if you’re grateful for something, it’s only right to acknowledge it). However, as others have said, I sometimes hesitate to add to the Twitter noise by acknowledging every retweet – a DM is a good compromise.
I have to get better about not contributing to the noise, Sharon. I’ve got the good manners down pat (after all I’m still within striking distance of my Mom) 😀 but I tend to hit Reply instead of DM. I’m working on it.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Sharon.
Thank you.
I used to say thank you all the time on Twitter, but getting retweeted so much now has just made that impossible. But I still share plenty without asking, as much as I share when asked.
You and many other followers, David, boggle my mind with the volume of your activity online. I wonder if you sleep. 🙂
You offer thanks in your generous sharing, and for that, I thank you. 😉
Great post Cathy! People often forget a thank you can go a long way!
So simple and so effective, isn’t it, Monyelle. 🙂 Thank you for the kind words and for dropping by. I do appreciate both.
I think you make a good point Cathy. And for some lack of etiquette is also lack of knowledge. I agree that even though you may feel thankful its good to express, even verbally because sometimes people just want to hear ‘thank you’.
I know it makes me feel good, Ashley. 🙂 When offered sincerely, it does make us smile. Thank you for stopping by.
I think there needs to be a few rules – all of which, in my mind, are self-evident…
1. Folks spent time developing what you just read. If you like it enough to pass it along… (a) Thank them for edifying, entertaining, annoying, whatever you. and (b) afford them the credit they have earned for that piece.
2. Folks who send you a comment deserve a reply. UNLESS and only unless it is totally self-serving, not relevant at all to the subject in question, or meant to insult and not edify or amplify.
3. Folks who help publicize you- your business- your blog- your web site…deserve thanks, as well.
Thank you for your thoughts- and letting me (ok, you have not seen this yet) post these lessons that folks should have learned by the time they grew out of toddler-hood.
Rules that I can sure live by, Roy. And you are welcome to post any time. After all, neighbors support neighbors. 🙂
Thanks, Roy.
Cathy,
You’re a woman after my own heart. I’ve always been a rebel, but the positive type. One of my ways to be rebellious in our society is to write handwritten thank you notes. I love doing this! It’s fun. I also try to extend this gratitude online. 🙂 You raise some great points, especially for those who haven’t been online as many years as people like us. Thank you 🙂
Oh yay-we are alike, Lisa! I still send handwritten thank you notes, too. 🙂 And thank you! 🙂
Oh, yes 🙂 Our mommas taught us well 🙂 🙂 🙂
You betcha! 🙂
Thank yous do seem to be in short supply so I notice it when I leave a comment and the blogger makes a comment with a thanks or acknowledgement. Call it positive reinforcement but I do the same. Then I recently left a comment on a blog post that I really liked a lot and was pleasantly surprised to receive a personal email acknowledging my visit! It goes without saying that I regularly read that blog. It felt nice to know that someone who was as it is sharing valuable content still took time out to write to me. Fingers crossed that etiquette and doing something nice gathers momentum. Have a great week Cathy!
Thank you, Vatsala, for stopping by (and the wish for a good week – right back at ‘cha.) 🙂
Wouldn’t it be lovely if we re-established some of the good manners and etiquette? It really does not take a lot of effort, but it carries a whole lot of value.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your story, Vatsala. I can see why you are a loyal follower of that blogger.
Thank you for the timely reminder, Cathy. I have trouble remembering to say it because I get so rattled socially. A funny problem for someone in social media, but here I am.
Funny, I never noticed that, Ann. I always find you most gracious. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by. I do appreciate it.